40 DAYS

So much can happen in someone’s life in the span of 40 days. When I took the Instagram fast back in February for Lent, I wasn’t prepared for what was to come or for how my heart changed. I had a lot of questions about my last post, so I’m going to try to knock them out here.

You said you dIDn’t like Instagram anymore. Are you deactivating your account?

This past 40 days of not checking my account, not setting up pictures, and just being in moments was pretty awesome. And I didn’t know what I missing out on until I was forced not to do it. Part of me loves the connections I’ve made there. I’ve become close with an amazing group of women that lift each other up (hey, Something Our Wives are Doing on the Internet!) I truly enjoy being inspired by others- especially women of faith who work hard at being vulnerable and sharing out their faith. On the other hand, constantly feeling the pressure of having to ‘be on’ is exhausting. With all that being said, I don’t quite know what I’m doing. For now, I’m enjoying the lightheartedness of my posts and writing. If they resonate with anyone, all the better! But I’m going to make a concerted effort to make sure that I’m finding joy in what I share and begin to take proactive steps when that stops.

You resigned?!

Yep, I resigned. Me staying home has been the plan all along. Before we truly got into the throes of serious dating, I told my husband my heart was and has always been in the home, and that meant with or without children. If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ve known this as this is what my prior blog and social media focused on. I’m pretty uncompromising in my thought that my best gifts should go to my family. As a wife, my primary ministry is to my husband and then my children. My husband is so supportive and didn’t bat an eye when I mentioned this. I would not have moved forward in any relationship if this wasn’t the case. (Girls that are dating and want to be home, listen up! Don’t compromise!)

I had thoroughly enjoyed what I did up until this year. Teaching during a pandemic was more than I expected. I came home with nothing left to give to anyone- not myself, not my husband, not my family or friends. Thankfully we were all quarantining, so being anti-social was the norm. But that is not me or who I truly am. While I may recharge alone, I thrive being around people and I wasn’t doing that this year because I just couldn’t emotionally. The pressures from work and the lack of not feeling like myself lead to panic and anxiety attacks. I was drowning. I’m not putting any job over my mental health.

Will you Still Teach?

Good question. And for now, that remains to be seen. In an ideal world, I would work part time at a TAG/GT position until He decides to bless us with a child. I am still so passionate about advocating for academically advanced students who are so often pushed aside in the gen-ed classroom and who are misunderstood by society. I’m putting all of this in His hands for now, as we don’t have an exact plan, and I’m using this time to work on building my trust with God, who wants to provide for me. (Lots of times I just get in His way with my own ideas and plans.) We will see what opportunities, if any, come our way and go from there. And if they don’t, we’re totally prepared for what that means for our family. We’re good either way and I know I’m extremely blessed to be in that position.

How did You Lose 12 pounds?

One great thing about not wasting time scrolling was being able to make more time for other things. After this past year, I’d put on some weight that I wasn’t comfortable with- 15 pounds to be exact. We still aren’t comfortable with going to the gym so we started researching options for home, mainly the Peloton bike. We started using the app when the pandemic started and really liked all the different workouts it afforded. It’s been amazing and wonderful and all the things people say about it are true. For me, it has been the one workout I have been able to do consistently longer than a week. If you have any questions about it, I would be happy to answer them. I know we researched a lot and asked a ton of questions, so I’m always happy to pay that back. If you are on the app, you can find me at JenRenWill. 🙂

I’ve also been back on WW for a couple weeks. Between that and a consistent workout routine, I was able to lose the 12 pounds. It hasn’t been easy by any means. I’m a stress/emotional eater and this semester has been rough. Learning how to make better choices, moving your body, being prepared, and using portion control are the tenants of WW and it’s been the only “program” I’ve been successful with because I get to eat things I like, just in moderation.

 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. -Proverbs 4:23

I think that covers all the main questions I got from the post. For the time being, I will still be on IG. I’ve pared down the people I follow so it feels a lot safer to be there, if that makes sense. I’d like to be more active in blogging as I truly enjoy writing, trying out new recipes and sharing them, taking pictures, and sharing some parts of our lives. But I’ve told myself that I will only do that to the point that it is enjoyable and I glorify Him in the process. When it stops being that, then I will reasses. It’s so easy to lose yourself in social media so I have to be on guard all the time. I’m nervous not having a plan but I’m excited to see what comes of this, too!